Not as easy as I thought...

For some reason, I thought this would be easy.
Pick a word, change your life, all for one easy payment of one year of your time.

It has not been easy.

When you invite God in to clean and rearrange, be prepared to see your house (heart) turned completely upside-down in a good and necessary way!

Oh boy, is He doing a good work and how I want to complain during some of it.
You see, His interior design isn't aligning with my color scheme. Or my furniture.
In fact, I'm starting to think that the only thing that He's going to leave alone is the foundation of the house (because it's His...built on His Word).

If you don't want me to re-type everything I'm thinking, follow my regular posts at tammysincerity.blogspot.com and there may be more frequent updates than on here.

Still, He is constantly doing something new. He is working on me regarding Expectations.

He is also working on my attitude and waking up depending on Him.
Psalm 90:14 (NIV) states: Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

If I am truly satisfied internally, I won't be using food, beverages, friends, family, or anything else to meet my emptiness. His love can satisfy me EVERY morning, and I will sing for joy and be glad ALL of my days!

Doesn't that sound wonderful?

As the year progresses, I hope to live out that promise. For now, I have days where I remember to ask, and days where I finish exhausted, and then I remember.

For those of you curious about the photos, the first is the original design of our 1959 house. Second is an "in progress" photo of our bathroom remodel in our house several years ago, and the above photo is the finished project.


~Tammy

Things are happening...

Wow. All you have to do is step out in faith and things start to happen!
Already this year, I'm praying more, getting up earlier, and hearing confirmation of the thoughts God's putting into my head from other people, devotionals, etc!

One exciting opportunity was to begin writing as a "regular contributor" on the new website, Brave Girl Community.
I started with my first entry on "trust"
Here's the link:
http://bravegirlcommunity.com/2014/01/05/trust/

And, those thoughts tied into the Unveiled Wife discussion on day 8 of "Wife After God" on a Facebook group event going through her amazing book of the same name.https://www.facebook.com/events/243715902461717/permalink/250351391798168/

"Realize that your spouse, your children, their performance will never fill you and your disappointment of unmet expectations will further your emptiness. Only God can fill the longings for acceptance that daily hit us like hunger pains!" - Tammy Belau

 Sunday, I even wrote a song (not a new experience for me, I've been writing songs for a while) and I've recorded it. It's not a polished recording as I just recorded it about an hour after writing it and hadn't memorized my own words and music yet. God has been teaching me that it's about Him.

To God be the glory. That's it. We're not humans as much as we're mini-me representations of the Almighty. "Made in His image."

Why do we exist? To bring Him glory. To lead others to know what peace is found in His presence when we are TRUSTING Him.

So, here's the rough link to the song. I'll stop apologizing. I don't mess up that badly, I'm just having to let go of my standard of perfection and start being real.
http://www.youtube.com/edit?o=U&video_id=x7nGKkq0spc
This song isn't about how great or not great Tammy performs it...it's about living for God's glory and doing things so He gets the credit!

~Tammy

One Word, One Year, Trust.

What if you chose to sum up your life's goal in one word? Would it demonstrate hope? Despair?
Where are you at right now?
What are you pursuing?
What is bringing you life?
What is bringing you down?

These were all thoughts I had as I considered the "oneword365" challenge.
I don't tweet, I'm not on twitter, I don't own an apple anything, so I'm only partially "with it" in the social media world. Eventually this will change as my family persuades me that "face time" is far superior to skype at the desktop. They did eventually bring me into their phone carrier though I was a holdout for a long time. (Who can beat a $39.95 grandfather plan with great local coverage and no dropped calls? Really?!)

So, as I thought on where I desire personal growth, I thought of my relationship with God. What would I ask of Him if I could only use one word? I would like to deepen my trust with Him.

It would be a long story to explain why I don't feel I trust Him fully. I don't understand His grace and though Grace would have been another good choice, I feel that Trust is where I desire to be. Like an adventurer about to scale a mighty peak, I am trembling with great anticipation and nervous energy. Trust will take me places and I'll not be the same come January 2015. That would be a noble goal.

~Tammy