Giving Up My Right to Grump (Choosing Joy)

Have you ever been disappointed by something?

Do you feel justified in your grumpiness, that "funk" that you find yourself in?

For a moment, you should allow the feeling, as it is real, but please please don't stay there.

I found myself fighting a few disappointments in a row and the temptation to stay there was real. God, though, through His Spirit, was gently speaking to me at each turn of events, each silent moment.

The cancelled babysitter, the unanswered phone call, the unanswered text, and then an hour later another set of unanswered calls and texts, and another hour later? Again.

What is it about knowing somebody could communicate with us that creates such angst when we don't get a hold of them?

"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!" (NLT)
"You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you." (NIV)

Isaiah 26:3 is such a good tool to combat this crazy, frantic feeling that starts to come up from within!!

I need to trust in God. Not in my phone, not in another person's phone. I need to fix my thoughts on God and what is really important, not the wild musings of my imagination that jump to conclusions on a whim.

Pretty soon, if you fixate on "why haven't they responded", you will be in a stinky, smelly "funk".
Don't let it happen. Get up, get on with it and just trust that you'll eventually hear back.

Maybe, like in my case, "all circuits are busy".

That's right. I tried calling, and nothing worked. Except the voicemail. When the missed calls and texts were discovered? "All circuits are busy."

Thankfully, we have a landline for backup and I received a call.

By that point, I had calmed down, and had received some of that precious "peace that passes all understanding." (Philippians 4:7)

When we make a chOICE to REspond with Joy, we "RE-J-OICE". We make a "joy" choice.

This is a step in the journey to heaven that is well worth taking. Whether yours is a baby step or a giant leap, be encouraged to step!

~Tammy

Speaking From The Heart (Guest Post)

Today, my post is featured on One Word 365. Here's an excerpt and then a link to finish over at their page. So thankful to be sharing what God is teaching me in order that others may be edified and encouraged!
The words always come from Him and just flow through my fingertips. It's never something I'm able to do on my own!

In February, the image of a heart is frequently before our eyes as a symbol of love. When it comes to hearts, God is a multiplier. Whatever is in our heart, He will multiply for His use and His glory.

In Luke 6:45, Jesus said, “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” (NIV)
A heart full of love will be multiplied, and love will abound. A heart full of hurt will be multiplied, and hurt will abound. The words we speak come directly from our hearts. What are we offering up to be multiplied and served to others?
When Jesus asked his disciples to collect food for the crowd of 5,000 men (plus women and children), Andrew said to him, “Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?” (John 6:9 NIV)
Many of us have a small offering, but God is the multiplier of all and can feed many with what we have. If you are filled with joy, He will share that joy to people you never knew needed it. If you are filled with love, He will cause you to share love with those thought unlovable. If you are filled with negativity or bitterness, your bread is moldy and your fishes smell like fish—not fresh or life-giving. The multiplication of such brings sickness of heart, and is not to His glory whatsoever. Still, even Pharaoh who had hardness in his heart—God used his offering to display the hand of God in delivering His people out of an impossible situation.
Always, it is for God’s glory that our heart endures—that it is not of our own might or strength or power. Proverbs 4:23 gives us a warning “Above everything else guard your heart, because from it flow the springs of life.” (ISV)
Read the rest over here at OneWord365.com

~Tammy

A Perfect Zero

I love to do math. I've always enjoyed the simple, predictable comfort I have found in numbers. The answers never change. Again and again, I can control the outcome if I place the same numbers in the same equation.

How frustrating life becomes, when people are not predictable like numbers.

For me, a recent revelation occurred where I realized that I'd all along thought that God was like people. God is not. He is predictable and consistent, never changing. This is not to mean that I can predict what God will do, but that His character is laid out in the Bible.

1 John 4:18 "Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love." (NLT)

My life has been spent trying to please God. Trying to perform well so that I will remain in His favor, and worried that He will be angry if I fail. When I read the above words in New Living Translation, it was so clear. My efforts? A perfect zero.

Whether I try to add my efforts to God's love to gain more of it, or whether I fail and fear that my efforts will take away from His love for me, the truth is, that my efforts are a whopping zero!

All my failures and sins, multiplied by the value of my efforts? Deeds x zero = zero
All my good deeds, divided by the value of my efforts? Deeds / zero = zero

Christ died for us while we were still sinners, and all sin has been accounted for. The balance is paid and we have a zero account.

Let us then live a life worthy of our calling, penitent for our missteps but not pining over our poor performances. God has so much more for us. We say we're sorry and then we step forward, victorious! Just as you and I delight and praise young children for taking their first steps rather than expressing dismay at their stumbling and falling, God delights in our efforts toward His glorification!

Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (NIV)

God's love for you is perfect and unchanging, and there is nothing you can do to separate yourself from His love (Romans 8:28-38)

Filled with joy,
~Tammy  

Choosing Joy in Challenging Times

When you tell people that your word for the year is "Joy", you may receive some similar reactions. Some people then expect you to don pink glasses, dance, twirl, and sing like Glinda from "The Wizard of Oz" and her little Munchkins, "Fa la la la la, la la la, la la la."

Some people may roll their eyes and scoff at your naivete'. "Surely you don't think it is possible to be happy all the time?" Some people may impose their negative circumstance upon you. "Jolly good for you, you aren't facing *insert challenge* like I am." And, some people will have a response of life-giving proportion. Perhaps they have already found joy themselves. They will smile, affirm your choice, perhaps give you a motivational post on your facebook page or tag you in an Instagram photo.

The verse that first prompted me to consider "Joy" for the year spoke of considering joy.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4 (NIV)

Just yesterday, I had an amazing dream. I was bold, courageous, not afraid to fight and defend on behalf of others! Spiritually in the dream, I was battling the dark shadow people and completely confident that the Lord was with me! I awoke charged up, ready to go, saw some amazing things, heard amazing praises, it was a high!
Last night I don't remember dreaming. I don't know why I awoke at 3:30am, nor why I stayed awake until 4:30am.

Today, joy was a choice. I had a challenge in the afternoon, one I knew was coming, but was not looking forward to. It was necessary, it would be good for me, good for the other person directly involved, but still, it would be difficult, painful, and would be draining emotionally, mentally, physically, socially and spiritually.
I knew my situation needed to progress. It was time. We had to face the giant, knowing we could defeat it. 
Still, joy was not my first thought today.
Did I want to face this challenge?
No.
I wanted the Jonah option. Next ticket to Tarsus, please!

Now that it's done, progress has been made, I am trying to focus on the joy that is mine to have. Something happened. We had breakthrough. This has been a process over four years in the making. Last year, I chose "Trust". I wanted to trust God fully. Somehow, in all the turmoil that came, the brokenness that had to happen, He helped me lose that trust in myself and find my trust in Him.

I anticipate that this year is going to bring harder challenges, but it's because I'm deeply rooted in Him (Colossians 2:7) and it will only bring us closer together. 

https://dwellingintheword.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/colossians2_7-roots.png

Truly, is that not joy? That my heart would be closer to my God, and my journey home would be that much closer to its blessed reunion?! I want to be refined, matured, to let go of the need for affirmation and to instead be full of rejoicing in hearts reached for Him. For His kingdom to advance, we must be prepared to let Him work in us and through us. That takes a lot, but He promises we will not lack anything when perseverance has finished its work!

I encourage you to draw close to Him. He is speaking to me through the prophets this year. Isaiah, Joel, Habbakuk, Zephaniah, Ezekiel, all their voices are being brought to life again! His Word was in the beginning and is still alive and speaking.
Choose to find the joy. It is there if you are looking for it. Joy is a reward. A reminder that we are being used for His glory, and the Holiness of God passing through us refines us in the passing!

May His praises be ever on my lips. (Psalm 34:1)
~Tammy

http://tammysincerity.blogspot.com

End of the Year and what Trust has brought about...

I cannot help but sit in reflection these last few days and wonder at how God could do so much in such a short time.

When choosing the word "trust" for my oneword365, I had no idea how much writing I would get to do. Most of it, truly, was not on my personal blog, and I didn't really want to link those "click here to read more" posts if I could avoid it. There was a lot going on in my head, heart, and in my life.

2014 was a year where God really had some breaking to do. Breaking down my own strength, my own abilities, until I was a broken mess. And then? Then the beauty could come from the ashes!
A verse I've memorized this fall is Ephesians 6:10. "Finally, be strong in the Lord, and in His mighty power."

I was honored to be a member of the BraveGirl Community. I frequently submitted my writing there this year. If you haven't yet visited, it's been a blessing to be with those amazing women!

There have been some major control issues I've had to work through. Namely, the fact that I am not in control of my children, any more than my own parents are in control of me. All of us have individual personalities and free will, and the job of a parent is to guide their children to a self-controlled life. We provide consequences (both positive and negative) for their actions, but they must make choices every day. If we choose for them too often, they become dependent on us.

That being said, when my child is out of control, it's embarrassing, shameful, and I feel the judgment of many around me (especially non-parents, or people who don't remember any disobedient veins in their own children).

This year brought great pain in the form of lives taken. Some were old lives, well-lived, and we were thankful for their release, others were a shock and I still grieve.

This year brought great depth in my relationship with God. In September, I began to teach chapel to our preschool, kindergarten, and elementary students at our private school. I had the idea to have a jungle theme, and then relate the armor of God to them in jungle format.

Wow. All the ideas from God to explain and simplify caused new understanding in my own life. Suddenly, the Bible has opened up in new ways that I have never known before! Verses have flooded my news feed on Facebook thanks to YouVersion, and many have been timely. Also, speakers like Lysa Terkeurst and Christine Caine and musician Bekah Shae have been sharing verses that have edified me.
I've been able to commit verses to memory. They've been short and sweet and the references uncomplicated. Passages have opened up like never before.

I was able to attend a conference in Portland, "Women of Faith", which helped me to lose a burden of heaviness and apathy and come back with new vigor. The theme was "from survival to revival".
Very fitting for what is to come.

So, as I close this chapter of oneword365 and approach my next year, my word has been easier to choose. That word is Joy. I am going to choose Joy in every circumstance.

Christine Caine's book, "Unstoppable" has been a motivator in this word choice. The next year brings me great hope and anticipation, but I know that in some ways, I am anticipating a much more challenging year than this year was. The challenges will be difficult, but liveable, and will prepare me for the next step in this life, this journey.
We often ask our girls, "are you bringing joy to your sisters?" "to others?"
In my daily life, I will be conscious of trying to bring joy to those around me.
And, I must consider it joy whenever I face trials of many kinds. (James 1:2-4)
This is going to bring me to maturity.

So much more to write, but I will save it for my next blog. :)
Thanks for joining me this year!
~Tammy

Month Eleven, still Trusting

Honestly, though I have been journeying faithfully this year, trying to keep up a separate blog has been more work than I could commit to.
You can read the following post which has everything to do with trust and my journey this year down below at tammysincerity. :)

http://tammysincerity.blogspot.com/2014/11/the-eleventh-houror-month.html

Disappointment

Today wasn't the best day I've ever had.
It wasn't the worst day I've ever had, either.
I have a lot to be thankful for, really, but today was a two of ten on the happy scale. It was just a blue day.
Are there physical and natural and environmental factors at work? I am certain there are because if not, I'm going to be a very unpleasant person to be around if I continue to be this irritable on a daily basis.

By cjohnson7 from Rochester, Minnesota (Flickr) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Still, there is a responsibility at some point that you have to take over your behavior. Regardless of circumstance, you are not allowed to put your misery upon others, however justified you feel.


This has been a week of let-downs. I promise not to be an Eeyore for the entire post, so hang in there. I just need to help you know how far down I had to go before I acknowledged the need to leave the "downs". It puts the "ups" in perspective.

Sometimes disappointments happen. And it's not the fault of anyone. For my four year old, it's an unacceptable truth that she simply cannot cope with. For two and a half years we've been walking through unmet expectations and how to deal with them. The road has become a lot smoother after all this work, but there are some serious potholes in the road and we don't often see them in time to avoid them.

Don't we all struggle with unmet expectations, though? You get your hopes up, you put your hope in that upcoming event or situation or financial promise, and when or if your expectation is not met (either in part or in whole), there is an emotional mess that must be dealt with!

Nobody really likes messes, but some of us handle them with less grace than others. I have mess aversion so my poor four year old is trying to learn to cope from a mom that is still learning to cope.

Yes, that sweet circled face is my own. I would have captioned the photo "It's MY camera" at the time.

When the disappointment occurs, we want an out. Somebody to blame would make me feel better. If I could direct all my frustration at an object or a person, and I could expel it, certainly I'd feel better, right?
Wrong.
When we take that mess and put it on anybody else except the one who already took all the messes and washed them clean with His blood, the mess spreads and leaves stains. Instead of ridding ourselves of the ugly, we've spread the ugliness and now it's on both of us.
Sometimes we feel so yucky after an outburst that was unfairly directed as a way of coping. I was there this morning for a time. Impatience seems to breed impatience in our home. (Remember that the mom is still learning?)
Though today has been difficult and I've felt down and irritable all day, longing for family (who live between 100 to 400 miles away at the closest), friends (who I missed seeing this week on three different days due to multiple factors), or even another adult instead of my adorable children, the fact remains that I am the adult. I have to choose.

I'll say it again. It is a choice.

I get to choose my attitude. Nobody else can force me to have a good or even a great attitude. They might really hope I'll have one, but I have to choose it.

Here are some thoughts from Ephesians 4:22-24 (NIV)
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;  to be made new in the attitude of your minds;  and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

It's work, it's hard, and when you're in the middle of your mess, sometimes you just don't feel like it.
I think this is what's beautiful about God, about His Holy Spirit in our hearts! In spite of our grumpy selves, He reaches out in love and welcomes us back home. Our stinky pig-pen selves returning, covered in filth like the Prodigal Son, and still He races to hold us!

So, once embraced in His arms, His love, eyes turned toward the Creator of all, the disappointments gradually fade. Perspective can help the pain seem less sharp and eventually fade away.

Have you been dealing with disappointment lately?
Has the dark, dreary winter been adding to the difficulty of dealing with things on your own?
(Have you understood why it's so hard if you're trying from your own strength like I do?)