When choosing the word "trust" for my oneword365, I had no idea how much writing I would get to do. Most of it, truly, was not on my personal blog, and I didn't really want to link those "click here to read more" posts if I could avoid it. There was a lot going on in my head, heart, and in my life.
2014 was a year where God really had some breaking to do. Breaking down my own strength, my own abilities, until I was a broken mess. And then? Then the beauty could come from the ashes!
A verse I've memorized this fall is Ephesians 6:10. "Finally, be strong in the Lord, and in His mighty power."
I was honored to be a member of the BraveGirl Community. I frequently submitted my writing there this year. If you haven't yet visited, it's been a blessing to be with those amazing women!
There have been some major control issues I've had to work through. Namely, the fact that I am not in control of my children, any more than my own parents are in control of me. All of us have individual personalities and free will, and the job of a parent is to guide their children to a self-controlled life. We provide consequences (both positive and negative) for their actions, but they must make choices every day. If we choose for them too often, they become dependent on us.
That being said, when my child is out of control, it's embarrassing, shameful, and I feel the judgment of many around me (especially non-parents, or people who don't remember any disobedient veins in their own children).
This year brought great pain in the form of lives taken. Some were old lives, well-lived, and we were thankful for their release, others were a shock and I still grieve.
This year brought great depth in my relationship with God. In September, I began to teach chapel to our preschool, kindergarten, and elementary students at our private school. I had the idea to have a jungle theme, and then relate the armor of God to them in jungle format.
Wow. All the ideas from God to explain and simplify caused new understanding in my own life. Suddenly, the Bible has opened up in new ways that I have never known before! Verses have flooded my news feed on Facebook thanks to YouVersion, and many have been timely. Also, speakers like Lysa Terkeurst and Christine Caine and musician Bekah Shae have been sharing verses that have edified me.
I've been able to commit verses to memory. They've been short and sweet and the references uncomplicated. Passages have opened up like never before.
I was able to attend a conference in Portland, "Women of Faith", which helped me to lose a burden of heaviness and apathy and come back with new vigor. The theme was "from survival to revival".
Very fitting for what is to come.
So, as I close this chapter of oneword365 and approach my next year, my word has been easier to choose. That word is Joy. I am going to choose Joy in every circumstance.
Christine Caine's book, "Unstoppable" has been a motivator in this word choice. The next year brings me great hope and anticipation, but I know that in some ways, I am anticipating a much more challenging year than this year was. The challenges will be difficult, but liveable, and will prepare me for the next step in this life, this journey.
We often ask our girls, "are you bringing joy to your sisters?" "to others?"
In my daily life, I will be conscious of trying to bring joy to those around me.
And, I must consider it joy whenever I face trials of many kinds. (James 1:2-4)
This is going to bring me to maturity.
So much more to write, but I will save it for my next blog. :)
Thanks for joining me this year!
~Tammy
